spent a day in Mission, f’king great…

• “If god had intended us not to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter.”
• “The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
• “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”:]
• “Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”
• “Just because you got the monkey off your back does not mean the circus has left town.”
• “If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?”
• I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!
• Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?
• No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.
• If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
• By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
• Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
• Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.
• I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
• What year did Jesus think it was?
• In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.
• The planet is fine. The people are fucked
• Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
• Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin’ ready to hang himself.
• “Meow” means “woof” in cat
• I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
• What was the best thing before sliced bread?
• I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
• It isn’t fair: the caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.
• Whoever coined the term “Buyer Beware” was probably bleeding from the asshole.
• Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
• Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

Check out this list at OnMyList, where you can list your pants off!

well, it was only a matter of time really…

All locked-up | Economist.com:

NO ONE wants to be stuck in a house when the floor is shaking underfoot, however palatial the mansion. Some investors have found this out the hard way as subprime-related troubles have rattled parts of the hedge-fund industry, leading to steep losses at funds such as Sowood Capital, Basis Capital and United Capital Asset Management. Until recently, investors were jostling with each other to gain access to the best alternative investments. Of those who got in, some now face the opposite problem: how to get out.

OMLer Pam just created this awesome list:

• Right now, at this very minute…: I should be in my car driving to Springfield. But, no, I am once again on this wonderful green, brown and orange page typing.
• 2nd time this morning`: Yes, this is my second time today. I rolled out of bed to check for new lists and comments before I had even peed. Oh, sorry, TMI
• Attachments: I now think of other OMLers as my friends. I feel badly because I wrote something that upset TheRobin, I want to email him and explain; I want to call Kelly and ask her what is in the cup she is holding; I want to have dinner with Kathybelle next week…
• I would be happy to pay: Yes, I would pay a fee for the privilege of being a member on this site. I have two kids in college, I can’t afford to pay for anything.
• I think we should have a convention: Like Trekkies – How lame is that?
• Stalking: I am emailing lists to everyone in my address book, nightly. I think I’ve been blocked on several…
• My job: I made a list about how I’m going to get fired because of this site. It sounds a little funny, but, unfortunately, it’s all too true. The very first thing I will do when I get to the office is check out OML to see if anything has been added in the 30 minutes it took me to get there.
• My marriage: Last night the Hubband actually came and watched a movie with me; usually we watch separate TVs as I don’t care for COPS, Dog the Bounty Hunter, WWII History Channel stuff, etc. TCM had a great Jimmy Stewart on, after 90 minutes I couldn’t stand it and went to the computer to check on things – he went to the bedroom and turned on COPS.
• The Law: I will now be speeding up Hwy. 160 hoping to still make it to work on time. (Not gonna happen) No doubt I will get a DUI, driving while under the influence of OML and end up in jail. Will one of you bail me out?

Check out this list at OnMyList, where you can list your pants off!

• 10. We cannot let terrorists hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.:
• 9. You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.:
• 8. It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.:
• 7. Too many OB/GYN’s aren’t able to practice their, their love with women all across this country.:
• 6. One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.: And sometimes you can color them.
• 5. People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.: Nuf said.
• 4. He can’t have it both ways. He can’t take the high horse and then claim the low road.: Rrriiiggghhhttt.
• 3. Will the highways on the Internet become more few?: God I hope not.
• 2. More and more of our imports come from overseas.:
• 1. I appreciate preservation. It’s what you do when you run for President, you’ve got to preserve.: Is our children learning? would have been too easy.

Check out this list at OnMyList, where you can list your pants off!

At least he’s honest… heh…

Damon Dash looks to cash in on the social networking craze – June 1, 2007:

Dash’s new Web venture is BlockSavvy, a site aimed at what he dubs the “urban-lifestyle demographic.” When I ask what motivated this endeavor, Dash answers bluntly, “Money.” When I ask him to elaborate, he turns to Burke, who explains, “After MySpace sold for $580 million, we said, damn, we gotta get us some of that.”

So I kindda messed up doing my taxes this year and had to amend my fed and state returns (again!), it’s a long story and I don’t really want to blog about it to bore you. But in the end I sent out my 1040X with a check to the 1040X address in Fresno, CA, this Monday, and I just checked my bank’s website and it was cashed today already! They probably received my forms and checks this Tuesday, and my online bank is in Wiscosin, so they must’ve cashed it like on Tuesday to get cleared today. That’s pretty damn impressive considering how much mails they must’ve received! Hopefully my CA state amended return refund comes back quickly too like last year’s did. 🙂